My grown up daughters had a great time dressing up for Halloween. Well, they are not that grown up…When I heard what they planned to be, I thought, “how fun!, how cute!”. Now as I look at their photos, I think, “of course”. They all chose an outfit in response to the photo on this post. Their costume represents their “alter ego”. One went as a notable artist – do you know Yayoi Kusama? One went as Polly Pocket, a miniature teenage doll, and the third daughter dressed as a baby. Which daughter chose which ego is not part of this story. After all, Halloween is not serious and can be an adult’s only option to play dress up.
What is worth a moment of thought is the symbolism of their costumes. These three figures represent essential parts of all of us. We all possess an inner child, a rebellious teen who is testing the truths of life, and a wise, mature and self-attuned adult. In our journey to becoming a thriving adult, we want to honor all of these voices. They help us gain deeper self-awareness and clarity. My experience teaches me that we revisit this question at many stages and seasons of life. So I hope you will join me in some healthy self-exploration today.
On days before and after Halloween, in the quest of answering “who am 1?”, we may struggle with a true response. Each of these inner voices have wisdom and give credible evidence to the answer. Our inner child tends to pursue what is naturally intriguing and captivating for us. Our desires and needs are usually straightforward and simple, and as we age we diminish the validity of that internal longing to feel worthy, valuable and loved. In using the inner child’s voice to learn part of the answer, our child tells us about our natural interests and clues to talent. Those clues lead us to remember early signs of what truly matters and who we are meant to be.
Our inner teenager can help us examine false beliefs around our need for approval, achievement and yearnings. The teen tends to question our judgment and has so much impact on how we learn to listen to ourselves. As hard as it is to listen to the “rant” of the teenage voice, it’s valuable. The value comes in working out any untruth and letting our wise adult selves calm and nurture the wounded parts of ourselves so we can be whole and whole-heartedly the best version of ourselves. The inner teen’s voice needs to be released so the mature adult can give perspective and stop any unhealthy self talk that springs from immaturity and limits one’s potential from flourishing. Sometimes this work needs a companion or counselor to unravel the tangled messages.
That self-aware adult also benefits from the process of exploring the questions aloud. She can find ways to showcase her excellence and let go of the “should’s” that have kept her in bondage. Her wisdom may be reflected in a mirror held up by trust friends and companions, or professionals who counsel people in personal growth. This mature adult values her own contribution to the world.
I have learned the value of investigating all of these perspectives of my inner self with my wise companions in group inner bonding. Gratitude to my sacred friends who help me find truth in these inner characters who sometimes show up in the way I act and feel.
Now the candy bowls are empty and you are still seeking answers. May you reflect on your inner nature and answer, “who am I” and “what am I meant to do and be?” Use your wisdom and resources to find your answers. When you do, show the world the best version of who you are. We are eager to greet you!